Ted Cruz is like if flop sweat was a person.

Whether or not you love Disney Land/World will tell me all I need to know about you.

I'm just so proud of how low we've lowered our standards.

I read a lot of alt-funny tweets.

Got alt-drunk last night.

I wish I was alt-asleep right now.

Why would anyone want friends or benefits?

I know this is an impossibly crazy scenario, but imagine if there were WHITE terrorists.

Impossible, I know, but something to think about.